The Love Fern!

There was a time when Matthew McConoughay was reason enough to watch pretty much any movie.

Remember that period, right after the movie with Jennifer Lopez and the glasses and aw, shucks act? He was rom-com gold. And then came the love fern, or more specifically, 'How to lose a guy in 10 days'. You know the one - Kate Hudson is trying to get rid of him, he's trying to hold onto her. Betting on love, it's a real joy EVERY TIME.

She did CRAZY things, I tell you. CRAZY. Like matching sweaters and a giant potted plant for him to nurture as their love grew.

CRAZY with a side of nutso.

Weeelll... About that crazy. The love plant might have resurfaced as one of D's valentine's gifts this year, because I am nothing if not cheeky and saucy. Or, you know, crazy. But let's go with the first two.

To be fair [or to justify my purchase, whichever] I didn't make the love fern connection until much later. I was browsing Red Envelope, which is what all normal people do when Valentine's Day comes around and they have this compulsive need to buy presents to celebrate that fat kid who shoots everyone with pink-and-red arrows every February 14th. NOT THAT I AM COMPULSIVE.

And what had happened was [see, you KNOW it's going to be good now, right?] that I thought it would be cute to send him Valentine's flowers. So I ordered this cute heart-shaped bamboo and had it delivered to him.

To make a long story short, he loved it [first girl to send him flowers, manly or otherwise. Holla!], he nurtured it, we fought, I took it back [or 'ungifted it', which sounds so much better], we apologized and made up, he nurtured it some more, we got married, and now we have this bamboo plant [much larger than the picture, because like all living things that are nurtured, it has grown non-stop] and a very limited space allotted to us, which means there's no safe place to put it. It's on the computer desk now, but really, when I start cleaning, SWEET HEAVEN, there is NO SAFE PLACE for things. Let's just say that I am addicted to organization and leave it there, shall we?

The bamboo is under a protective order, though, because along with his pet tarantula [which I have affectionately named Buttercup] it is a member of our little family. I mean, after all, it is a symbol of our undying love. Yellow leaves and all.

On second thought, I should probably be getting some [distilled, bottled] water for this thing. We can't have a dead love plant.

It just wouldn't be NORMAL.

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