6/19/08

There Are No Words.

It's uncommon - startling, even, when a wordy person like me finds it difficult to express feelings with words. How can I unlock this invisible cage that has hidden away any words I might use to describe life today?

It's true. Sometimes, it feels like there are truly no words.

This blog is about my journey toward my dreams, toward greater heights and depths in my relationships with God and people.

It's like letters to you about me.

I love that you join me - that's why it's so easy to share the happy things; sharing positive emotions is my favorite. I'm pretty sure that if my skull were to be x-rayed, you would see this embedded into my hypothalamus;

'laugh, and the world laughs with you; cry, and the world wishes you would just stop, already.'

Yep, I'm definitely human, in case you were wondering. And it's human nature at it's most basic level that seeks to increase pleasure and reduce pain.

But the body of Christ isn't about human nature. It's not designed to function only in happy times; sometimes the healing and the blessing is in the tough times.

Sometimes, enduring an impossible situation simply by clinging to the last shred of faith you possess, struggling to breathe and hoping that you can dig in and survive just another moment is necessary for your greater good.

We all have those times; whether you just met Jesus or you've been holding His hand longer than you can even remember, you have days that you'd rather not re-live. I do. I have days that I don't even want to think about, and certainly don't want to be transparent about.

Those are the Romans 8:28 days.

They're the situations that are bigger than a broken fingernail or a bad hair day; these situations are a whirling maelstrom of vicious winds that batter and tug at my very soul, whispering accusations, voicing fears, and bringing memories and emotions that threaten to choke the life from me.

That's when I have to cling to that tiny shred of faith, that faded scrap of paper on which the words of Paul are faintly scribbled;

"..we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose. [Rom. 8:28, KJV]"

Maybe I haven't said it lately - but I'm very, very, very human. My life is blessed and my God is good, but my days are not a parade of 'Leave It To Beaver' perfection. I don't always have the answers like Gil Grissom [of Las Vegas CSI, because he's good like that] and I'm rarely camera-ready like Mariah Carey always seems to be.

I have Romans 8:28 days.

It would be nice to crawl back into bed and squeeze my eyes shut, blocking out the world, with it's difficulties and decisions and demands [Score! 300 points for the use of a triple, no?] clawing at me.

I could probably enjoy it, too - at least for the first few minutes. But there's a tiny ray of light at the end of the tunnel. There's a glimpse of hope in knowing Jesus loves me. He does, honest - He's reminded me countless times this week through the very same scripture; Jeremiah 31:3 [and once today through my dear friend Rachel - if you don't know her, you should change that. Fast.];

"...I have loved you with a love that lasts forever, and I have helped you come to Me with loving kindness. [Jer. 31:3 NLV]"

The decisions and the drama and the difficulties won't disappear simply because Jesus reminded me of His love. That's not the way trials make us stronger.

But I can be confident that there is hope greater than difficult days and painful memories and tough decisions. And when I'm through it all? I will be stronger, because I was immovable in my trust in Him.

You can be confident in that promise, too. My journey is just an echo of thousands of other people who have taken the road, step-by-step, to greatness - people like you. People like those who make up the body of Christ.

So today's word? Transparency. Being real.

I can be honest and say that I'm not always as real as I could be; I focus too much on the laughing-so-the-world-will-have-a-good-laugh,-too part of life and forget that my struggles might help you realize that you're not the only one with mountains to climb.

Hang in there. ;o) Trust me; when you make it to the top of the mountain, you'll realize exactly why you took the climb.

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[the alohilana blog] by R. Jones is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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